Eighteen-Legged-Friend

Bismillah walhamdulillah wassolatu wassalamu 'ala habibillah

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What happens in my life is a direct cause of what I have done. And what I
do is only a manifestation of my thoughts and the movements of my heart.

Beware from the evils of my self. Beware, and always turn back to Allah,
sincerely. For every seeker, must return. And even if I fail to become a
seeker by being heedless in my taubah, know that I will ultimately return
to Him and be questioned regarding my actions.

[my worst enemy]

Wishing to change and do more: yet I ignore the order in which actions
should be done. If the core actions that He requires of me are not yet
fulfilled, how then can I think that by doing other things, I will become
closer to Him?

[wa inna lana'lamu anna minkum mukazdhibiin]

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Eighteen-legged-friend

Your Lord commanded
you to stop
between my toes
and black feet
so i could see you
so i could watch
and learn
of your patience

while i feared
your striped sting
you stood silently
so i could count your feet

it was then i realized

o Allah
how could i
discriminate
this animal
is more beloved
in Your sight

while i sin
unabashed
at day
and at night
deluded

yet i was scared
of that creature
who had full ridha
while i have none

little friend
half of your body
is void of support

who tore
your six feet
from their positions?
from places
needed most

little creation
my friend
who reminded me
of Allah
tell me,
how can i help
to ease your pain

as you limp away
on lost feet
i watched
wringing my heart

if i helped you
what
could these
distorted hands do
to save you

would i be
the asbab
of your safety?
would i be
the asbab
of your ruin?

these filthy hands
how can they
save a pure creature
like you

i blinked
as you ran back
you ran
though you were limping

i blinked
as you ran back
to remind me
again

it matters not
who stole your feet

it matters not
if you cannot walk

for it is only
Our Lord's decree

in each state
my duty
your duty
is only
worship
du'a
calling
in fear and hope

maybe
one day
our feet will grow again

maybe
one day
I will walk again

but physically
that matters not

for my friend
knows that He
is the Most Beneficient
despite
tremendous loss

little creation
abd of Allah,
please
pray for me

maybe
one day
your purity
will shine
in my shattered self.

(Penned by a dear sister of mine.)